The First Two Weeks Are the Hardest...

    Mentioned in the previous post, the first week wasn't bad to be honest. Time went slow and I missed my pass time of 17 years a lot but it wasn't bad. At one point in time, it was thought that if you made it past the first 3 days you had it made. Well, that asshole neglected to mention that you would be a raging bastard for at least 7 days out of the first 14.

    There has not really been a time I have not wanted to be around my wife. During my second week, for once, I was glad we didn't see each other much then. I was a complete monster. I probably shouldn't have been at work. It's true I'm not good with little kids. In fact, they really frustrate me in that setting and I shouldn't work with them. However, facing what we struggle is how we get better.

    During my second week of not smoking I'm surprised my anger, for which I worked hard in life to gain control over, was controlling me. I was hateful, mean, sarcastic, and just a downright son of a bitch (though my mother is one of the nicest, most caring people you'll meet). Each day I was meaner and nastier than the last. My coworkers helped me stay grounded and I'm thankful to them.

    My wife, I think, knew I was struggling because, what little we did see each other that week I didn't speak much and she used the sweet sounding voice she uses when she knows I am upset about something. That's also when her goofy side comes out. It always makes me giggle eventually. It wasn't until Friday of my second week after a visit with my mom, a visit with another of my close friends (who began
smoking because of me), and working on a song with a coworker from another job, that my unmanageable anger had passed. I began feeling like myself again.

    Saturday came and that is wifey day. Nothing stops me from being with her on Saturday no matter what. I was so happy that I could focus on being happy and spending time with her instead of focusing on not being butt-hurt over something that doesn't matter. Come Monday, after working an evening/midnight double the day before, I walk onto the floor I work on. I say my hellos to everyone, and look at the
clock with getting report and doing walk off in mind. 3:05 pm... I made it two weeks, I felt 100% myself again and pigs hung their heads in shame of how much I was eating.

    So long as it helped me make it to two months I didn't care how much I ate right then. I just made it two weeks and though I still miss smoking, 17 years is long enough. In the past I tried quitting, and made it 30 days two different times. It wasn't hard to get there either. I didn't have a single problem other than being
anxious and major stressors that would cause me to light back up. This time however, the first two weeks are the hardest two weeks of my life. Having a great support system is another tool in your quit kit to have if you haven't caught on to that by now. It really helps as corny as it sounds.